door open, night 1

Posted on September 2, 2010 by carey| 13 Comments

Last night we decided to try the whole ‘bedroom door open’ thing. Steph even agreed to not lock up the cat. I said “Let’s just try it… see how it goes”

10pm - in bed surfing the net and chatting
10:30pm - Mr. B cries out waking the other two (stuffy noses)
10:40pm - lights out

Sleeping arrangement from left to right – (in the space of a king sized pillow) Simon the cat, Carey, Mr. B… several inches of bed space… and then Steph looking all comfy with plenty of room. I feel squished, but I figure it’ll all work out.

midnight-ish – I feel Mr. B being restless and rolling on me so I pick him up to slide him over (and hopefully give me some more room!) But wait, Mr. B feels really light!! This isn’t Mr. B – it’s Little Miss!!! How did she get into our bed, right next to me!? I’m so confused.

me: (whispering) Steph, Steph… did you bring Little Miss in here?
Steph: (rather grumpy sounding) No… what? No… thanks for waking me up.
(then she rolls back over and is asleep)

Now I’ve got the cat at the bottom of the bed, between my feet so I feel like I cannot move. I never understand why the cat takes up so much space and I never feel like I can move, as if to not disturb him. I mean, he’s a cat. I’m the boss around here, right? But nooo… I’ll lay in such an odd position so that I am sore the next day, but I won’t move and disturb the damn cat who sleeps 20 hours a day.  I’ve got Little Miss laying across me, burrowing in… and Mr. B’s feet at my head. I’m still perplexed as to when/how Little Miss got into our bed. So much for ‘mommy ears’ right?? And so much for sleep. I toss and turn all night long.

4am - woken up by the sounds of cat on bed – hairball? Toss cat onto floor when he pukes. Get up and clean it up. I’m pretty sure there were some curse words involved.

6am - Steph gets up… finally more room in the bed! I slide the other two over – well, I try to – Little Miss manages to still take up 3x her size in the bed. How does someone so little take up so much room??

6:30am - “Hi Momma” – it’s The Boy standing 2 inches from my face on the side of the bed.  “Good Morning… it’s too early to be up… go lay on Mommy’s pillow” (pleasepleaseplease fall back asleep so I can get some sleep… please.)

6:31am - Where’s Mr. B?  I do not see him in the bed, I assume he’s with Steph… but I don’t want to assume, I want to know. “Mr. B??”

6:32am - “I right here Momma!” and he pops up – he was tucked along the headboard and Steph’s pillow (don’t worry, he can’t fall through – in my sleepy daze I just didn’t see him)

6:33am - both boys start tickling each other and giggling. So much for more sleep.

7:00am - Steph takes all three out to have breakfast. I “sleep” for 15 more minutes before getting up.

I’m still amazed that Little Miss got out of her own bed, opened the door, closed their door, walked through the family room and kitchen, into our bedroom and climbed up on our bed – without us hearing her!! She’s quiet – like a cat. At least she didn’t have a hairball at 4am.

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calm to chaos

Posted on September 1, 2010 by carey| 10 Comments

Life with three toddlers means everything happens in threes… and it happens quickly.

Take yesterday for example – I went to Hom.e D.epot in hopes of picking up supplies to start a Fall garden for The Trio to explore. I ended up with one small planter box (as opposed to the raised beds I wanted to build) and just a few veggies for them to grow. I tend to overdo things, so I thought coming home with something much more manageable was good for me! I did have The Trio help me pick out plants for all the pots we brought with us from CA (can’t move plants, but we brought all our pots). We spent two hours in the big orange box store. Being a weekday and early, we pretty much had the place to ourselves, which was a bonus. Puddles were a major hit… lots of splashing in the garden area. They had so much fun. And the cart was also a hit – one of those big flat ones that they could all sit on. We were having a great time… until Little Miss slipped in a puddle, Mr. B got his foot rolled over and started crying, and The Boy announced he needed to use the baño – RIGHT NOW Momma!! I’m always amazed how we can go from totally calm, playing, having fun to chaos in less than 3 seconds.

Do you know how far it is from the garden center to the bathroom at Ho.me Dep.ot? It’s far. It’s incredibly far with three toddlers, two of which want you to hold them. And let’s not forget that Little Miss was soaked from her puddle incident. And have you ever taken one toddler to the bathroom? You know how they want to touch every little thing??? Well, try it with three. (You parents with more than three are my heroes, seriously.)

We don’t touch things in the bathroom, it’s dirty. Please don’t touch that. Stay right there where Momma can see you. Don’t touch the potty. Don’t touch the floor. Don’t open the door. Please quit touching everything. Why do you all keep touching everything? Be still. Put your hands on your head. Don’t move. Hurry up and pee pee. Don’t touch that! I can’t see you Mr. B! Where are you Little Miss? Oh – don’t put your mouth on that!!!!! For the love of… don’t do that either!! Are you ever going to pee pee?? Who has caca? Mr. B? Little Miss? Stand right there. Quit. touching. everything. I just washed your hands, don’t touch anything!

The Boy finally pee’d – after I changed Mr. B – so pretty much the above process was repeated. Sigh. I was exhausted after my trip to the bathroom with them. I decided we were done, my grand garden idea would just have to wait – a little toddler sized garden would have to do for today.

Another example – The other day we were outside in the front playing. They were all riding their trikes and playing with the toys we keep in the garage for out front. We have this little wagon that they all love to push around. Mr. B was pushing it, started to run with it – and then totally ate it. Flew over the top of the wagon, landing on one of the wood rails. He’s screaming and bleeding. Little Miss falls down and is crying about her knee, wanting me to hold her. I had brought the little potty out into the garage just in case The Boy needed it. Well, guess when he needed it?? Yep, right before the other two got hurt – and he needed me to wipe him as soon as the other two started crying. Momma, wipe me!! Mooommmmaaaaa!! All at once this happens. Calm to chaos.

This is perhaps one of my more challenging times as a parent of more than one child – it’s very hard to help or console three at once who all want you to hold or help them – and do not want to share you with the other two. I wish they could stagger their “I need you now!!” moments – I always feel like I am shorting one of them when they are all melting down, even though I know cognitively I am doing the best I can. It must be hard to have to share the person you want all to yourself, especially to a 2 year old. I have to prioritize who has the greatest need. And I hate that. To them, I know their own need is the most important thing right then. Toddlers are so egocentric. I know I can only do so much… but sometimes that just doesn’t feel good enough – I want to be able to do more for them when they need me most. But for that, I’d need to either grow some extra arms, or clone me.

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open or closed?

Posted on August 29, 2010 by carey| 42 Comments

A poll of sorts… Do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed? And what’s your reasoning?

We sleep with our bedroom door closed. Steph hates sharing the bed with the cat and I like it shut for security purposes (fire, intruder – you know those things that are not likely to ever happen, just my own weird paranoia fueled by one too many Cri.minal Minds). We have an alarm which also monitors for fire, so sleeping with the bedroom door open is probably fine for me. I really hate that with the door shut, I can’t hear the rest of the house, especially since The Trio is on the opposite side of the house. Yes, we have a monitor in their room, but with them in toddler beds they can exit their room more easily (and quietly). Which all leads me to wonder if we should start sleeping with our door open? My parents always had their door open. Although, my parents also often forget to lock their front door at night too. Of course, then the cat would also have access to our room… but so would The Trio.

So what do you do in your house?

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summer rain

Posted on August 27, 2010 by carey| 5 Comments

In Northern CA, it doesn’t rain all summer. Really. It rains in May and then usually not again until late Oct. It was really weird to us when we moved out there – we were so used to the daily summer rain in FL. Now when it does rain in Northern CA, it’s usually a cold winter rain. I hated it. It would rain for weeks at a time it seemed. In FL, it pours for about an hour and then it’s back to being sunny. And it’s warm. Oh how I have missed the warm summer rain (and the awesome thunder storms!)

In CA, we wouldn’t play in the rain – cause it was cold. But the other day, we were in the garage doing stuff when it started to rain. The Trio were all curious about it – they are very impressed with the cool rain showers we get here. After a little bit of encouragement, they started running around in it. There was just something about watching them in the warm rain, the smell, the sounds… to me (my mind & my own memories) it was exactly what rain should be like.

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update on toddler beds

Posted on August 26, 2010 by carey| 5 Comments

"nap time"

Ahhh… the transition from cribs to toddler beds. Fun times. What the hell was I thinking?!

Naps have gone out the window… the second I can get one to fall asleep, the other two start talking which then wakes the one up. The light switch is apparently way more interesting than their pillows.  I’ve sang more songs to get them to sleep over the past few days than I’ve sung in the entire time since they were born – that’s a lot of songs!!  There is crying – mainly because I think they are exhausted. I can tell they want to fall asleep – but I think they are worried about missing out on something one of the others might do. I’ve tried reasoning – and bribery. I’ve tried leaving the room, putting up a gate, putting a child proof handle on the inside, rocking them, wearing them out, etc. – basically everything short of slipping some Ben.adryl into their lunchtime water. And they still acted like crazy two year olds who refused to nap or even lay in their beds for more than 5 minutes.

It’s been incredibly frustrating for me. By the time the late afternoon rolls around, I’ve got three super cranky toddlers on my hands – and I’m cranky. I don’t get any “me time” which I need. My patience has quickly disappeared. I’ve yelled at them more times over the past few days – out of pure frustration. I hate that. I don’t want to be a yeller. (on the plus side, staying home full time has been motivating in getting me to start looking for a new internship, I need to work – I love it and need that adult interaction, makes me a better person, partner & parent)

I just don’t understand why they won’t take a damn nap. And that is my problem – trying to figure out a two year old. It just can’t be done. And I was trying to figure out THREE of them. Pure insanity on my part. No wonder I was feeling super frustrated. So today is a new day – and a new plan.

Now – on to bedtime… much easier. Sort of. The Boy does get up a few times to use the potty, which is fine – that is why we made the transition to the new beds. It’s also why I’m not a fan of ‘locking’ them into their room – he needs to be able to get up and use the potty whenever he needs to go. In the mornings, he gets up all by himself and goes to the bathroom all on his own and then he comes to find us. Last night though, we had to go into their room a few times to tell them to get back into their beds. We found them all piled into one bed playing, sitting in the glider, and turning on the lights. Mr. B has ended up in our bed every night since we made the transition. On the plus side, Little Miss has been sleeping in!! With no brothers to wake her, she sleeps until 9am-ish!! I wish the other two would do this!! Of course, then she’s not tired for naptime.

I totally expect a transition period – after all, this is a super cool new experience for them. Night time just goes so much better than nap time. I am hoping this newness wears off soon and we get back to our regular scheduled program. I miss nap time.

* updated to add *

today’s nap is a success! I have three sleeping toddlers!! Little Miss is tucked in our bed. The boys are in their own beds. I ended up sitting in their room for about 15 minutes – sang a few songs, rocked both of them – and then they both fell asleep! I went to check on Little Miss and she’s snug as a bug in my bed! I think I might need to go snuggle with her :)

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a series of happy faces

Posted on August 25, 2010 by carey| 5 Comments

The Boy has been working on drawing happy faces again – I love to watch his progression as he draws. I especially liked how he drew a few upside down (didn’t turn the paper)

happy faces, age 2yr 9mo 3wk

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big changes

Posted on August 23, 2010 by carey| 20 Comments

So The Boy is now 100% diaper free – that includes naps and bedtime. And he hasn’t had a single accident. And we don’t have to remind him to go use the potty. He does everything on his own. If I’m not right there with him, he even dumps out the little potty into the big potty, rinses it with water & then dumps that into the potty, then flushes, and then washes his hands. He’s pretty damn amazing if you ask me.

The only problem we were encountering was sleep time (naps & nights) – he would ask to use the potty a few times before falling asleep (and he would actually go, wasn’t just a stall tactic) and in the mornings he’d call out for us with a little bit of panic in his voice “I need to go potty now!” We’d get up and dash across the house (damn split plan is a pain with little ones) and quickly get him from his crib and into the bathroom.  We decided it wasn’t fair to expect him to have to hold it while we got him out of his crib when he’s proven he’s quite capable of going to the bathroom all on his own. We felt it was time for a big boy bed.

I will tell you this – our plan was to keep them in their cribs for as long as possible. I didn’t care if they were 4 and sleeping in there. I like them being contained for sleep. I also did not want to transition to toddler beds – I think they are a gimmicky waste of money, why not just go to a twin which lasts longer?

I now have three 2 year olds sleeping in toddler beds.

Yup, the two things I was pretty adamant about not doing. It all happened yesterday afternoon. We had been visiting my parents and stopped by a BRU to get a toddler bed for The Boy and then bought three (you get a multiples discount!). The plan had been to go from crib to twin, but three twin beds will not fit in the room The Trio currently occupies. I didn’t want to move them to the larger bedroom because it’s just too far from our bedroom. The only options were to either (1) split them up or (2) get toddler beds. The desire to keep them together was stronger than my dislike of toddler beds. And the toddler beds are super cute, but I’m still not a big fan. I hate that I cannot lay down with them in bed. But they are together in the same room which is what we wanted. We are not planning on splitting them up until they ask or until we have another girl – and then her and Little Miss will share.

We had planned on just putting The Boy in a toddler bed and keeping the other two in cribs for a while longer, but that didn’t seem fair. Even though he is older and he is ready, none of them know they aren’t triplets – they don’t grasp that The Boy is 4.5 months older. Plus, Little Miss had been climbing out more, I was worried she was going to whack her head. Steph thought it was a bad idea to let the Pipsqueaks be set free from their cribs (and she was so right, more on that later).  I told her I was the one who would have to deal with it the most, so might as well do it now while I am still at home.

The other thing we did was make all the pacifiers disappear. We were a little worried about this – but it went fine. Last night when we put them all into their big kid beds, we told them big kids don’t use pacifiers. And that was that. They have not asked for them at all. It’s quite strange to be honest. We really thought it would be a battle.

Turns out, the battle was nap time. As they ran around, hopped out of bed more times than I can count, opened and shut their bedroom door, ran down the hallway, got into the closet, peeked out the window, did gymnastics to and from each other’s beds… the wise, wise words from my wife the night before were playing very loudly in my head. (bad idea Carey… BAD IDEA) They were horrible. I tried everything I could to get them to just stay in their damn beds. I lost every single time. My voice got hoarse from telling (and some yelling) to get back in their beds. I then realized I was not being the kind of mom I wanted to be, I was so incredibly frustrated with them – I knew they were not going to nap at this point, so I gave up. We all snuggled on the couch for a bit – a regrouping of sorts. And then when the afternoon rolled around, I had three very cranky toddlers on my hands. I was so happy to see Steph at 5pm!!!

Hopefully bedtime will go more smoothly than nap time… and tomorrow, my plan is to wear them out (running laps in our gigantic back yard??) before naptime so hopefully they will be tired enough to sleep – or even just stay in their beds for a little while. Please.

the trio testing out their new beds

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{this moment}

Posted on August 20, 2010 by carey| 7 Comments

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.
A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

my boys & my Grandma Rose

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washing hands

Posted on August 19, 2010 by carey| 8 Comments

So we all know how Little Miss is our designated bathroom attendant.  Her interest yesterday progressed a bit.

her: Momma, I want to wash my hands.
me: (thinking this could be a way to get her on the potty) Well, we wash hands after we potty, so if you use the potty, you get to wash your hands!
her: no potty Momma (and she runs off)

A little while later, she’s taking off all her clothes and clutching a pair of chonies in her little hand. Momma, I want chonies!

me: Are you going to use the potty?
her: no, I no want potty
me: Are you going to peepee in your chonies?
her: No peepee in chonies, peepee goes in the potty!
me: Oh, so you are not going to peepee in your chonies?
her: No Momma, no peepee in chonies
me: Are you going to peepee in the potty?
her: No
me: Well then, where are you going to potty?
her: I hold it Momma.

Where does she learn this stuff?? But I let her wear the chonies. After she got them on, she exclaimed – I have on chonies! Now I can wash my hands!!!! She literally squealed with excitement. I didn’t even bother to remind her about the whole ‘using the potty’ bit.

She kept her chonies dry for several hours and somehow, we convinced her to sit on the potty. (Ok, so I bribed her with an m&m) And she actually used it. And scored herself another m&m. I think she went about 3 drops. But hey – that earns an m&m! And then right after getting the m&m, she said she wanted to go again. And she went another 3 drops. Then an m&m. Rinse & repeat. Steph said “I think she’s playing us.” Yeah, but whatever, it’s getting her over the fear of the potty and experiencing what it feels like. It won’t be the first time she plays us – might as well let her win a few, right?

This morning, I asked if she wanted chonies and she said no thank you. So she’s in a diaper, which is fine -  after taking them to the park this morning and having to find a place for The Boy to pee, I’m really ok with diapers for a little while longer.

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yes – more potty training

Posted on August 16, 2010 by carey| 10 Comments

Look, with three just know there are going to be several posts about potty training! The Boy is doing amazing with potty training. We’ve now progressed to wearing chonies out in public (or just shorts if he insists on commando). My parents came up this weekend and on Sunday we went to this great place for brunch. After we were done eating, The Boy said he needed to go potty. Steph had gone out to the mini (van) to change diapers, so it was up to me to attempt this with The Boy.  Oh boy. Why don’t bathrooms have little step stools in them? (IKEA does!) The Boy is too short to stand and too afraid to sit on the BIG potty (we use a little potty at home). I tried holding him – yeah, that didn’t work. You try pee’ing while someone is holding you above a toilet. So then I tried moving (with my foot) the little trash can with a lid in front of the toilet. Now he was too tall. And then I think he got stage fright. No potty Momma, I can potty at home. Sounds good to me. We washed our hands and headed home (where he went potty). He is waking up dry from naps and overnight. He calls out in the morning and at the end of nap to get up and go use the potty. No accidents since Friday morning.

Now the other two? Little Miss will go help The Boy in the bathroom – as in she helps him pull down his chonies and applauds & cheers when he goes. She shows him the soap and reminds him to use the towel to dry his hands. She’s a pretty awesome bathroom attendant. Perhaps she should start having a tip jar.  Mr. B is still saying he wants M&Ms but no potty. I decided to bribe offer him an M&M to just try the potty – to just sit on it, he doesn’t have to pee in it. No go. Little Miss insisted on wearing chonies this morning. And then she refused to even try the potty. And then she pee’d. On my couch. Dammit. Good thing it’s leather and easy to clean.

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